On conducting ourselves with a generosity to different ideas…

Posted on May 5, 2014 by Kath

generosityOk, so that’s a clunky title but I think it captures what I’m trying to convey in this post…

I’ve been thinking recently about debates on the internet and why they make me so uncomfortable. It’s so hard to say what you think without the opinion being noted down and you placed in a category of person who thinks this or that. It’s hard to link to articles that interest you without assumptions being made about what you must therefore think about a whole load of other issues. It’s not a place of nuance and discussion most of the time. I have a friend who writes a secret blog for this reason that only real flesh and blood friends can read. I wish her stuff was more widely available because I love her voice but I understand her fears, of what others will say or label her as, entirely.

I hate all these things partly because I am so affected by what others think of me. I know that’s not a great place to be but I think friendships based on more than just what you think about certain issues are pretty vital in life.  Most debate on the net doesn’t allow for that. We vilify people if they hold opinions that are different to ours in ways I’m not sure we would in our flesh and blood relationships. 

If someone posts stuff we agree with, be it about politics, parenting, some aspect of our faith or what flavour of ice cream they like I find it easy wholesale to like and revere that person. But if they post stuff that I don’t agree with I find myself not liking them, seeing them as strange because of their view on this one thing. This can change if they give more of their personality with this view – eg if they show kindness to those who disagree with them or humor or wonderful writing. But it is hard to see past the Thing I Disagree With. 

In flesh and blood relationships it’s easier to see the whole person, to find other reasons to be friends, to learn the art of understanding why they might say what they say and loving them in the midst of that. It’s harder to pigeon hole people and much easier to find out all the nuances of what each other actually think. It’s easier to allow for change in thoughts and ideas over time. 

I know I’m hypersensitive when it comes to this stuff though. I’d rather do all I can to maintain friendships and can’t stand disagreement if I think the friendship might suffer. It’s not all that healthy to be like that as I risk not saying what I really think on stuff that actually matters. I do however think the amount of stuff worth breaking friendship or even just the ability to talk in a real way with someone is fairly limited.

Risk is a necessary part of friendship, it enables us to be consistent human beings, not just saying what will get us liked. It is risky to say what we really think about stuff especially if it’s not a popular mainstream opinion. We should treat that risk with generosity and warmth. I’m gradually learning to say what I really think without fear in some friendships but it’s a hard road and we could make it a whole lot easier for each other to be honest. 

I’m also aware views may change. It’s much harder to express nuance and change over the limited space of the Internet. Much easier to get labelled as one type of person in one type of tribe (either of a faith tribe, parenting tribe, music tribe). I think I’m just saying it must be more helpful to be generous to each other, to seek to love and understand rather than vilify or reject and it’s probably a whole lot easier to do that offline. 

Any ideas on how to improve this situation and how we can be more generous to each other online?

Posted in Life on the journey | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Monkey Bread

Posted on April 26, 2014 by Kath

Most Saturdays we make Monkey Bread, a recipe we nicked off my excellent brother and sister-in-law. It’s a wonderful mix of bread, ham, cheese and mustard, or whatever combination you choose to add in, sausage and pesto etc. We’ve had a few requests for the recipe so here are some step by step instructions to ensure some Monkey Bread joy in your life. It’s great for sharing, for picnics, for accompanying soup or just munched through on your own fresh from the oven. Mmmm. 

The recipe for the bread is the basic dough one we use in our bread maker- 1 tsp of yeast, 500g of Strong White Flour, 25g of sugar, 1 tbsp of olive oil, 1tsp salt and 300ml of water. We then put it in the breadmaker on either the basic dough cycle or if pressed for time the pizza dough quicker cycle.

Once you’ve got the dough, roll it out on a flat surface and put on top the ingredients of your choice, small people might like to help at this point but mainly because our particular small person loves ham and cheese more than anything.

Monkey bread1

Next, cut it lengthways into 2 or 3 sections depending on the size of your dough. Roll these sections, again lengthways, so the topping is hidden inside (when it becomes, innards?). 

Monkey bread2

Cut these into small sections and then place in a bundt tin (apparently the correct name for the kind of tin you can make something with a hole in the middle with). 

monkey bread3

Monkey Bread4

Once you’ve filled your tin with these sections put it in a warm place for an hour or so to let the dough rise. You could also put it in the fridge overnight which works just as well and lets you have a speedy picnic making session in the morning. 

Monkey bread5

When the dough has risen put it in the oven at about 220 degrees for 15 or so minutes. Take it out and leave it to cool for as long as you can stand it, then rapidly consume.

Monkey bread7

Posted in Life on the journey | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Holiday roundup

Posted on April 22, 2014 by Kath

IMG_2882It’s the first day of a new term and for the first time in a week or so the boy is down for his regular lunchtime nap. Despite a restless night from all (mainly consisting of the boy coming into our bed, giving me kisses and gibbering into my face whilst I tried to sleep) I’m feeling that fresh spring feeling. All over town the blossom is out, lush green has sprouted all around and there is that wonderful turning of the page feeling about today. My melancholic spirit is just about to point out that I shall probably feel bad tomorrow but I shall squash that voice and enjoy this moment. 

We had a lovely time away on holiday, despite the husbandface struggling with grim back pain. Hanging out with two other families from our church helped to entertain the boy and us.  The boy has come back home a proper full on toddler with new challenges for us of how to enforce boundaries and help him understand how to stop doing dangerous things.

We went to Word Alive whilst away (Christian conference with lots of lovely teaching on how brilliant Jesus is) and came away with a whole new deeper sense of how good it is to be part of God’s family, loved and known by him. I’m such a ridiculous glass half empty person that I forget all the benefits of being eternally loved and cherished by the Maker of the world. Silly really. I love being in his family. I need to write that somewhere large so I remember. It was also great to hang out with friends who are on this looking after small people journey, sharing the joys and struggles together. 

On the uber long stretches of driving we’ve been listening to Tony Blair’s autobiography, which is probably worth a blog post in itself. It’s fairly fascinating to remember the wide expanse of time he was Prime Minister for and to recall the ups and downs of his regime. He’s so defined now as a figure of hate because of Iraq that it was helpful to remember some of the good stuff he and the Labour party did when in power. Anyways, an interesting read whatever your politics. 

And that’s about it for life down here in Brighton. We’ve been away, we’re back and life potters on infused with meaning and purpose in the ups and downs because the one who made us is alive, has risen and will come again.

Phew, on with the living then…

Posted in Life on the journey | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Sunday

Posted on April 20, 2014 by Kath

dawnLast year I posted this on Easter Sunday. I can’t top it so here you go again.

Dawn. Resurrection morning

The tomb is empty.

Tears are shed. Where is he?
Not here in the place of the dead.
Not here in darkness and gloom.

Here speaking hope in a garden.
Here on a bright sunny morning on a beach, waves crashing out joy on a shore with fish roasting on the fire.
Here in an upper room filled with confusion.
Here on a road, breaking bread, spinning tales of battles won.

Here. He is here.

And suddenly everything has changed.

New life is possible. Hope is more than wishing it lives and breathes and dwells amongst us.

The unthinkable has come true. Death is dead. The trail blazes across the sky for us to follow and dance in. We have a future. There is more than this pale frail world in front of our eyes. There is a world of wonder and newness guaranteed to us by the one who is the first born of that world.

Our hope is not in vain. Our hope is not in vain. Our hope is not in vain.

We can dance in the sparkly sun of this morning because joy will come, because this is not the end. Because he calls us to come and have breakfast with him.

So stand tall today. In the midst of the pain of this life light has forced its way in and will not be quenched. Stand tall. Dance over mountains, sing loud shouts, breathe the clear refreshing air of resurrection day.

“Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has risen!”

“Death has been swallowed up in victory.” “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

“Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.”

Posted in Life on the journey | Leave a comment

On breathing.

Posted on April 9, 2014 by Kath
Grandad builds another tunnel...

Grandad builds another tunnel…

I sit at the end of another long day. I sit and I breathe. In and out. In and out. 

The sun slowly sinks in the sky. The world is glowing around me. In the background I hear the noises of my son being convinced that sleep at last might be a good thing. Hymns drift in from his room as husbandface soothes and settles him into a state where drifting off is peaceful and still.

I sit and breathe.

I read of a God whose mercy is new each morning, whose faithfulness is great. Who forgives my sin and offers me new clothes to wake up in tomorrow morning. Tonight though we are weary, husbandface’s back is playing up again, I am, well it’s time I faced up to it, I am pregnant again (15 weeks and counting) and exhausted from this growing a new life whilst taking care of our beautiful, crazy, inquisitive boy. All I want to do is curl up under the duvet and long for the oblivion of sleep.

I sit and breathe. 

There have been brilliant things about today. We went to a farm with the grandparents to enjoy my Dad’s birthday together. The boy delighted in trampolines, sandpits, small animals, people watching and more. We enjoyed his delight. We missed his nap window and so this afternoon turned into a marathon of getting through until the end of the day. He did well. Husbandface did amazingly. I dozed on the sofa as In the Night Garden worked some of it’s magic when the tears came out. 

I sit and breathe.

I find it hard to balance these days of such wonder and such tiredness. Such enjoyment of my boy with such weariness. I don’t want to moan or complain and yet I want to say it how it is. It feels hard. Already the voices begin loudly that I don’t know what hard is yet, I will never know until I have x number of children or am in x number of situations. That maybe true but for tonight I am weary. This is how I feel. We are meant to be going to a friends party tonight (we even had babysitters) but my bones ache, I feel sick and strange and I need to listen to my body. It is growing a baby I remind myself. Rest is needed.

I sit and breathe. In and out, in and out. 

As I washed my son in the bath, as I recounted our day to him, I told him of the God who sees the times we’ve messed up today, who knows our grumpy moods, the times we’ve not been kind, the times we’ve chosen to be distant instead of connected. I then told him of a God who forgives us, who doesn’t define us by what we do or don’t do, who has new mercy for us each morning. I told him and myself that we can go to sleep because he sustains us and I told him of the new clothes we get to wear tomorrow morning. (mainly the boy just giggled because I was tickling his back and he doesn’t really get much about this life yet but I think I needed to hear this particular talk rather than him…)

I sit and breathe. 

The mercies are new. There is grace enough for me and you. There is one who isn’t concerned about my perfect offerings today because he has already been that perfect offering. I am his child. I am loved and tomorrow I have new clothes to wear. 

I sit and breathe. 

I rest my weary soul in him and as I breathe I feel his breath on me, warming me, giving me strength deep within, reminding me that I am loved. 

I am loved. 

Posted in Life on the journey | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments