The Long Walk Home

Back from the world of Team Days, good but oh so tiring. Blown away and ripped apart by Judges and the stupidity of the people God uses and the echoes of that in my heart. It feels very dark in there at the moment. That’s it. Ripped to shreds. Christmas day is upon us now in my house. Off to buy a chinese to sooth the raw edges and then hopefully meet up with the one who can do something about the darkness.

I’m off for a couple of days with my lovely team for the delights of Christmas team days, lots of quality reminders of who God is and why he bothers with us, Christmas food, support and encouragement and time with mates. Until then here’s some Rich Mullins to keep you going, a song that pretty much sums up everything going on in our relationship with the one who loves us most.

“You who live in heaven
Hear the prayers of those of us who live on earth
Who are afraid of being left by those we love
And who get hardened by the hurt
Do you remember when You lived down here where we all scrape
To find the faith to ask for daily bread
Did You forget about us after You had flown away
Well I memorized every word You said
Still I’m so scared, I’m holding my breath
While You’re up there just playing hard to get

You who live in radiance
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in skin
We have a love that’s not as patient as Yours was
Still we do love now and then
Did You ever know loneliness
Did You ever know need
Do You remember just how long a night can get?
When You were barely holding on
And Your friends fall asleep
And don’t see the blood that’s running in Your sweat
Will those who mourn be left uncomforted
While You’re up there just playing hard to get?

And I know you bore our sorrows
And I know you feel our pain
And I know it would not hurt any less
Even if it could be explained
And I know that I am only lashing out
At the One who loves me most
And after I figured this, somehow
All I really need to know
Is if You who live in eternity
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in time
We can’t see what’s ahead
And we can not get free of what we’ve left behind

I’m reeling from these voices that keep screaming in my ears
All the words of shame and doubt, blame and regret
I can’t see how You’re leading me unless You’ve led me here
Where I’m lost enough to let myself be led
And so You’ve been here all along I guess
It’s just Your ways and You are just plain hard to get”

Peer pressure and nominations from Bish and Ed have led me to this inconsequential list…

Seven things to do before I die.
1. Write a book.
2. Live in the Lake District.
3. Open a cafe.
4. Drive across America in a camper van.
5. Love Jesus more than I do.
6. Tour with my band.
7. Change the world.

Seven things I can’t do.
1. Sing.
2. Love the Lord with all my heart soul and mind.
3. Love my neighbour as myself.
4. Fly.
5. Turn back time.
6. Randomly start conversations about Jesus.
7. Resist grace.

Seven things I say most often.
1. Brilliant.
2. Genius.
3. Cool.
4. mmmm
5. Like it.
6. Why?
7. Mate.

Seven Books I love.
1. The Poisonwood Bible- Barbara Kingsolver.
2. The Ender Saga- Orson Scott Card.
3. Christ plays in ten thousand places- Eugene Peterson
4. The Chronicles of Narnia – CS Lewis.
5. What a carve up – Jonathan Coe
6. Life after God- Douglas Coupland
7. An Alien at St Wilfreds- Adrian Plass

Seven films I can watch over and over again.
1. The sound of music.
2. When Harry met Sally.
3. Pump up the volume.
4. Fight Club.
5. Educating Rita.
6. Stand by me.
7. Cry Freedom

Seven songs I love at the moment.
1. At the bottom of everything- Bright Eyes.
2. Hard to get- Rich Mullins.
3. The JCB Song (sad I know..)
4. Through the dark- KT Tunstall
5. Land Locked Blues- Bright Eyes.
6. Freedom- Pete Seager.
7. The Swimming Song- Eddi Reader

Seven people to do this next.
1. Nathan B.
2. Becci
3. Alison Young
4. Jonny
5. Sarah B
6. Steph B (despite lack of blog)
7. Phil S

And so the evening did pass with much merriment, laughter, jolity and frivolity.

Before

During..

And after…

It really feels like it is Christmas everyday at the moment. This week I’ve been to two carol services, seen Narnia and had the annual exchange of presents with my lush friends Sarah and Anna. (friends of the best kind who know you inside out, don’t let you get away with the I’m fine platitudes and love you well). Next week I’ll have two Christmas meals and two more carol services. It’s a good job I like Christmas.

Tonight it is our annual ‘cook for lots of people who were in some way connected to a house we used to live in’ meal. Which gets more convoluted and strange each year.

This event started two years ago when our house and the boys next door got together for a Danish (the housemate who can cook is Danish) Christmas extravaganza. Last year it turned into, our house, old housemates, the boys house and another girls house. This year it’s gone crazy what with people getting married, new people arriving and lots more interconnections I have no time to go into here.

ANyway. Tonight is the night when Danish and English Christmas’ collide to make a joyous evening, and we attempt to fit 12 people around our dining table. So much fun 🙂