What we did last night.

I love the feel of our living room the morning after our gospel community* has met there. There is a sense of shift, of change and of our lives having being altered by the presence of people who we walk through this life with. The furniture is all at different angles, random cups still lie hidden around the room with the dregs of tea and coffee in them. There are more chairs than usual and there is a palpable lack, an emptiness which speaks loudly that these were times of fullness, times of laughter, joy and togetherness. As I sit here alone I know that I am not alone.

Last night we thought about hard times, there is much sorrow in the air and I have once more returned to Lord of the Rings as my metaphor for describing the many emotions I feel at the moment. Right now I need a story of a long hard journey with battles along the way and a knowledge that the ending will be a good one. We need this shadow story to remind us of the big one our lives are actually part of.

 

So we remembered Sam and Frodo as they sat half way through their quest and pondered giving up.

We saw that they didn’t because they saw some of the bigger picture their lives were involved with, and so we read Ephesians 1, 1 Peter 1 and Romans 8 to remind us of the bigger picture our lives are involved with. We are in God’s family. We have a God who is at work in the broken mess of our lives to bring good and his purposes. We have a God who considers us precious and worthy of trials and who shields us in them.
Our lives are part of a bigger story. There is hope in the air and this morning as I sit amongst the embers of last night I know that we remembered such things in this place and I remember them again.We also looked at the end of the story, Revelation 21 and Isaiah 25 reminded us that there will be a time when our tears are wiped away, that God will come and dwell with us again, that pain, mourning and crying will be no more and we will enjoy a fine banquet, a feast and our shame will be removed.

Isaiah 25:6-9
On this mountain the LORD Almighty will prepare
a feast of rich food for all peoples,
a banquet of aged wine—
the best of meats and the finest of wines.
On this mountain he will destroy
the shroud that enfolds all peoples,
the sheet that covers all nations;
he will swallow up death forever.
The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears
from all faces;
he will remove his people’s disgrace
from all the earth.

The LORD has spoken.
In that day they will say,
“Surely this is our God;
we trusted in him, and he saved us.
This is the LORD, we trusted in him;
let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation.”

When I’m in heaven
Tell me there’ll be seasons when the colours fly,
Poppies splashing flame
Through dying yellow, living green,
And autumn’s burning sadness that has always made me cry
For things that have to end.
Winter fires that blaze like captive suns
But look so cold when the morning comes.
I do love the way the seasons change.

When I’m in heaven
Tell me there will be peace at last,
That in some meadow filled with sunshine
Filled with buttercups and filled with friends
You will chew a straw and fill us in on how things really are,
And if there is some harm in laying earthly hope at heaven’s door,
Or in this saying so,
Well, have mercy on my foolishness, dear Lord,
I love this world you made – it’s all I know.
Adrian Plass

*gospel community- small group from church who meet to chat, eat food, share lives, love each other, be transformed by God, welcome others and generally try and live out the reality of belonging to the Maker of the Universe life together.

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Joy

This is just about the saddest, most beautiful song in my world right now. Listen to the video- if you want to skip to the song rather than listen to the intro just forward it on to about 4 min in. I’ll let it speak for itself but believe me, you’ll never hear or sing I’ve got the Joy, Joy, Joy down in my heart in the same way again.

Someone once said to John Piper that he must be the happiest man in the world with his many books on joy and delight in God. He talks about how that in this broken world that just isn’t the case, his joy is no happy smiley joy but a wintery joy. I’m once again fighting for some of that kind of joy.

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Psalm 113

Back to the Psalms.

Right then. (I did write this back in September when it was a shiny new month and I was full of resolve and purpose. And then events took over and strangely it is October already.  Excuses aside. We’re back in the Psalms. Yey.)

Psalm 113 is where we find ourselves this week.

This is one of those Psalms that takes us from our tiny little where we are today life, grabs us by the hand and keeps on pulling us out and out and out to see the big picture. To see the story of what is really going on in this world. The curtain is pulled back, the tiny detail on a picture is seen in it’s place in full glory as the camera zooms back and we see what is really going on in this world.  We are taken out of our homes, our todays, our timezone and are flown high above the earth, out to space, up into distant galaxies to try and help our brains grasp just a little of how ridiculously big God is.

Here is a call to eternal praise of this God, not just once a month praise, not everytime you sing a worship song praise but all time praise, both now and forevermore, and it’s not just a call to a particular bunch of people to praise it’s a call across the world, over all of time and history to praise the LORD.  From the place where the sun rises, to where it sets, to let everyone know how brilliant God is.

Why? Um. Well, because he is. We praise the stuff we love, we praise the things we think are great, we praise excellence and more. Why do we praise God? Do we know what he is like? In case we’re short of ideas, we are told. He is exalted over the heavens and the nations. This is no God of one type of people, culture, race or time. This is the God who transcends all cultural boundaries, all people groups. This is the God of the world.

This is no distant, out of reach, out of touch, smiting kind of a God who we cannot relate to or know. This is a God, who stoops down, who comes and looks, who sees what goes on on his world. What does he do? He looks out for the poor, the needy and the barren. The ones in most need. Our world around us tells us we have to be strong, able to cope, able to deal with life and that we are weak and pathetic if we can’t.  I love that God is nothing like us, He looks on the poor and the needy and the barren. He restores them, he rescues them, he comes for them and seats them with princes, with happy homes. God is about restoring us, taking us from our poverty and enriching our lives.

The God of the whole of time and space stoops down to look upon us, knows the situation we face today and is willing to step in and help.  I think I’m starting to understand the huge call to praise this God at the beginning of the Psalm a little bit more now. The God of the Universe stoops down and notices my life. Crazy.

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The Everlasting Arms

The wonderful Jason did this for Evangelicals Now. You might be able to tell where he got his inspiration…

Posted in From the basement, Life on the journey | 1 Comment

Back to Brighton

We’re back from the world of Belfast now, and before I can press on with my to do list, before I can remember who I am and where I live I feel the need to write something to draw a line underneath our time over there. Obviously there are vast swathes of things that are far too personal to reflect on in public, we have friends for that very reason. It is not polite to go into details of the first time I wanted to scream at someone or the many tangled family relationships. Just read The Gathering if you want some idea of life at an Irish Wake.

We buried my mother in law on Saturday morning after a long fight with cancer. There is no other word to describe it, we use cliche’s for a reason after all. Fight is the word for Geraldine’s refusal to give in to despair and for how desperately she clung onto every opportunity for hope against the rising tide of cancer. I didn’t know her as well as I would have liked yet strangely her illness provided the opportunity for better chats, deeper relationship and the chance to hear her life story. These gave me a chance to see the deep love she had for her children and her strong desire to provide them with roots in this unstable world. She was a woman of passion, full of banter, who loved being in on the action, who loved gathering people for a party and who poured her life out into her family, both in her first and second marriage.

I’m sad that we won’t get told off for giggling on the sofa anymore, with her eager to join in on the joke. I’m sad that I won’t have the chance to tell her that I love her desire to get everyone she knew the perfect gift, reflecting how well she knew them. I’m sad that there will be no more moments when I can ask her questions about her past and the roads that brought her to the place she was in life.

I’m grateful for knowing her and I’m grateful that she welcomed me into the family, getting used to the strangely quiet English girl who had appeared to have stolen her son’s heart so quickly. I’m glad that we had the many trips to Belfast this year so I could know her better. I’m grateful for her enjoyment of our marriage and I love her son, my husbandface, and his care and concern for her over the last year. I love that she got to come and hang out in Brighton with us at Easter and see how we live.

It took us a while to understand each other, it wasn’t an easy straightforward relationship, we had a wide cultural divide to cross but I’m very glad to have had Geraldine Cunningham as my mother in law and we will miss her lots.

I’ll be using the running shorts she bought me on the 30th October as I run 10 miles in the Great South Run for Macmillan Cancer Support. I’m not sure what possessed me to sign up for such a run but know that I’ll be spurred on by thoughts of Geraldine as I notch up the miles. You can sponsor me to do this crazy feat by clicking away here: Kath’s Just Giving page. 

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