Reflecting on the week just gone seems to be good for my soul somehow so here we go again. We are in week 2 of term life and the idyllic world of last week seems a lifetime ago. This week has been much more bumpy, only to be expected as son1 started his new preschool and we all attempted a week of our new routine. Add in preparing the house for a new kitchen and a youngest whose insane development once more finds him only able to sleep with a hand on my face and you have conditions for stormy weather upon our ship.
Son1 is very excited about his new nursery, he wishes he could be there more. I’m kind of glad he isn’t but also very happy he is settling in well. He seems to have made a couple of friends and the workers there are lovely. I think it’s going to be a good thing in our lives. Obviously though it’s a new thing and new things tend to send our boy into a head mash. He forgot all the awesome routines he got so good at over the summer. I felt like we were back at square one in the getting dressed fight, the tidying up joys and the bedtime procrastination and fussing. Argh. Truth is, he is tired and coping with big change. I’m also trying to deal with the change in our weeks and the loss of our church community. It’s been a big week for my emotions too.
Sometimes we’ve got it right. I’ve cancelled things and planned in good contact time with him. Sometimes we’ve got it wrong. Tuesday bedtime and this afternoon bringing the return of the shouty frustrated lady. A source of sadness for the boys and shame and guilt for me. I’ve been trying to remember I have One who forgives me and that I have many times of good fun with the boys alongside the shouty madness. It’s hard and I’m trying to leave each episode behind and remember to love and connect rather than run and shout. So hard. So worth it when I remember to be kind and cuddle and leave the washing up for another time. At times like this I need the fruit of the Spirit so desperately. Kindness, gentleness, love, self control, goodness, peace, patience and joy are what I long to treat my boys with.
With our new kitchen arriving today our world is mostly in boxes, the boys don’t know where their toys are, we are all confused when our environment is so turned upside down. Tractor Ted is soothing us all right now. I have run out of creative energy to engage both boys well. Tractor Ted has it in bucket loads.
It’s been an up and down week. I’ve loved getting out drumming again and rejoining that community. I’ve loved hanging with my boys in the last of the hot summer days. I loved son1’s Lego creativity and the many many new words coming from son2’s mouth. I’ve loved not needing to fill all the gaps in our week with people and I’ve loved seeing how much Husbandface is settling into his job again. Change is hard and I need to remember that my world has changed this term. Oh to be gentle on myself as well as the weirdos in my care.