It hasn’t all been bad this week. I know, every night you’ve walked into a house where your presence has made my body relax and admit how sick and weary it is, and so you’ve caught the tail end of me. The exhausted grumpy one who almost throws yoghurts at small people who won’t eat their dinner (the key word there is almost…).
But it hasn’t all been bad this week. I’m sick and exhausted but there has been space in between the moaning. There have been moments of remembering again not to live life with the kids behind my phone. There have been hours where I have put the phone up high and properly paid attention to what is going on in front of me. Facebook scrolling has been reduced and the phone now mostly no longer lives in my pocket.
There have been times of breathing through the frustration and anger that comes through dealing with 3 and 1 year olds figuring out life and not coping when it doesn’t work out how they want it too. (Oh how they will deal with that again and again and again.) Monday’s hideous day, that we shall not refer to again, has helped me change some of my ways to ensure that level of crazy from all of us doesn’t happen again.
There have been moments when I have remembered that what I tell our eldest every day is true. It is God who helps us make good choices, we need his help, we can’t do it alone, he loves us whether we make good choices or bad choices. I have asked once more for the Spirit’s fruit in me of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control. I have been reminded again that God deals with us patiently and kindly and gently. I long to have the same attitude towards the tiny people in our care. I am deeply glad there is forgiveness for when I don’t.
There have been puzzles done, fun outside, bus journeys full of conversation, just one more episode to be watched, books upon books have been read and train tracks have been constructed everyday. Brilliant plans have been concocted (mainly involving how son1 can get more train track.) There have been chats, pretend cinema viewings, cuddles through the tears and new levels of communication from both weirdos.
There has been space between the moaning weary tired and it has been good.
Thank you so much for picking up the pieces when you’ve got home each night. Thank you for throwing yourself into the fray. It is good to have you back from your land of sickness.