Some days are better than others…


It’s Friday night, the husbandface is marking, for now the boy is asleep and I feel like I should write some words on this screen before sliding into a small coma on my bed. The trouble is once again I’m feeling empty of words, empty of anything interesting to say, empty of any truth that might make this walk through life easier. It’s been one of those weeks. One of those weeks where tiredness has won, where despair has hit more easily, where the black dog has been lurking around every corner leaving me gasping for air and reality. One of those weeks where I’ve been desperate to be with people and then find I have nothing to say when I am. One of those weeks where the boy has seemingly taken two steps forward and then a hundred steps back when it comes to his sleep. One of those weeks when I’ve been unable to take that in my stride. One of those weeks where every decision has felt like an impossible mountain.

U2 wrote a song about days and weeks like these, ‘Some days are better than others’. It’s a good song for those days that don’t make sense, a good song to help when life doesn’t seem to make sense, for when our days and weeks aren’t a nice continuous narrative of things getting better and better. Some days you can think you’ve got everything sorted and then the next day be right back in the pit again. It’s good to know that’s a normal part of this up and down life.

“Some days are dry, some days are leaky
Some days come clean, other days are sneaky
Some days take less but most days take more
Some slip through your fingers and onto the floor

Some days you’re quick but most days you’re speedy
Some days you use more force than is necessary
Some days just drop in on us
Some days are better than others

Some days it all adds up
And what you got is enough
Some days are better than others

Some days are slippy, other days sloppy
Some days you can’t stand the sight of a puppy
Your skin is white but you think you’re a brother
Some days are better than others

Some days you wake up with her complaining
Some sunny days you wish it was raining
Some days are sulky, some days have a grin
And some days have bouncers and won’t let you in

Some days you hear a voice
Taking you to another place
Some days are better than others

Some days are honest, some days are not
Some days you’re thankful for what you’ve got
Some days you wake up in the army
And some days it’s the enemy

Some days are work, most days you’re lazy
Some days you feel like a bit of a baby
Lookin’ for Jesus and his Mother
Some days are better than others

Some days you feel ahead
You’re making sense of what she said
Some days are better than others

Some days you hear a voice
Taking you to another place
Some days are better than others”

And yet in these days I keep on walking, I keep on getting up each morning, I keep on reading that God is my lamp and can turn this darkness to light. I plod on through the night, I plod on through the days. Somewhere, somehow, I want to know that these moments will pass. I want to know that, although life feels very much like the Two Towers book/film in Lord of the Rings, there will be a clearer dawn. Life is a slog much of the time, it’s not a walk in the park, it’s a life of sacrifice, of pain, of getting it wrong, of fear and the darkness looms in. That’s not all there is to life though.

I want to dig deeper to the one who says the sacrifice is worth it, who has felt the pain, who died so my wrongs could be forgiven, who calms my fears and who is the light in this darkness. Not as a sticking plaster over a wound that goes too deep but as a healing balm to the depths of my soul in this darkness.

In the darkness someone else is here, who holds the light, who walks alongside and who declares that he is with us. He puts his hand in mine and squeezes tight. I am not alone down here. And so I stumble on.

Your Correspondent, inspired by her brother’s better post about plodding on. It really is better, you should read it now…

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One Response to Some days are better than others…

  1. Fiona says:

    Sending love, encouragement and solidarity to you xxx

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