Slow learning…

I’m a slow learner. I wish I lived in Matrix land and could have everything I needed to know downloaded into my brain. Waking up and suddenly pronouncing ‘I know Kung-Fu’ sounds pretty cool. Even cooler would be a download of patience, kindness, goodness, self control, love, gentleness, joy and peace. Imagine if they were all instantly downloaded into our brains and that was it, straightforward and simple.

Really, I wonder sometimes why I’m not in charge of the world? Surely this is a more simple process than the messy, awkward, long slog of actually having to be patient through long periods of not getting what we want or interacting with people who are hard to love so that we learn love? Hmm. I need to get onto God about this. I wonder how he’ll take it when he realises I’ve discovered a better way to run the world…?

Anyway, I have digressed, gladly for me and everyone else I’m not in charge and we have to learn in ways that aren’t easily downloaded into our brains. I’m surprised by how long this takes. My latest lesson which I have to relearn each morning is that I can talk to God, be a recipient of his love and approach him as one of his dearly loved children as the first thing I do. Before I’ve got up and made myself presentable. Before I’ve written nicely in my journal, before I’ve made myself remember 5 things about God, before I’ve opened my Bible, before I’ve failed to do any of those things and have rolled out of bed with 15 minutes to get a shower, eat some food and stumble out of the door.

We have straightaway access to God. Straightaway, as soon as we wake up, we wake up into a world where we are loved, where we can approach the throne of Grace, where there is no way to earn that, where we cannot do anything to stop that.

Each morning I open my eyes and forget, I forget I can do this. It comes as a surprise each time. Surely it can’t still be true? I’m looking forward to the morning when I don’t have to convince myself of this, when I awake and discover that, yes, I am still with him. Maybe that will only be on that morning to beat all mornings when we awake as if from a dream and live in the world beyond all dreams and hopes, the world of peace everlasting. Until then, maybe I should get this truth tattooed on the ceiling above my bed:

“You are God’s dearly loved child. Nothing can change that. He loves and delights in you before you’ve managed to roll out of bed and do all those things that you think bring you closer to him. He is, he was, he is to come. Now say hello to him today.”

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