Bringing order to the chaos…

IMG_2538It’s the first Saturday of the new year, the first Saturday of the month and I’m engaging in a new activity. A planning morning, a time of planning for the month ahead, drawing up food plans and thinking through what’s coming up in our weeks. I like planning, in fact, given half a chance I think I could be good at planning. I’m just hoping that this flurry of spreadsheets won’t be like the revision timetables I planned so eagerly many years ago. I have always struggled with the vast gap between good plans and the reality of how those aren’t always lived out.

I think I’m less in danger of that this month, mainly because these plans are put in place to help this ship run smoother through the waters, to enable me to not hit Sunday afternoon in a mega grump because we have to plan and shop for the week ahead (online shopping is wonderful but only when you know what you are cooking and being creative in the last dying moments of the weekend just isn’t possible). Having a monthly food plan means I will hopefully panic less and can think about what we are going to eat before my brain runs out of energy. We need to plan because we just don’t have the finances not to, if we don’t plan we very quickly spend far more money than we have. If we plan we know what our limits are and we stay vaguely within budget.

I also want to review my weeks with the boy and check our weeks work best for his naps, our sanity and energy levels all round. We have something to do each day in the morning at the moment which is brilliant, afternoons are then a bit more flexible for seeing people every now and again, park visits, any extra shopping, spontaneous joy and cooking. I have no idea how cooking works with the small one pottering around the kitchen but am hoping to maybe use his afternoon nap time for prep.

Our weeks are full, husbandface tutors twice a week between 5 and 6, we have our small group from church one evening a week and on Friday late afternoons we are planning on meeting up with some of the older kids from church for fun, bible stuff and more fun. We love having people over Friday or Saturday nights and for Sunday lunch. We long to be a hospitable safe base for people to come to and find harbour and rest (not sure we can be sailing in a ship and a safe harbour but stay with me…) All this means planning is essential if life is to work well and we are to function well as a family. I’ve loved the holidays because it’s been really easy to eat together at the same time but for about 4 evenings a week this just isn’t possible.

I’m aware that this all sounds a bit mental or boring. At least that’s what the voice in the back of my head is telling me. It tells me that I sound more and more like one of those housewives/homemaker people that spend all their time on pinterest and have perfect lives. I never signed up to be that kind of housewife but I have found myself in the position to be able to help our family sail through these waters well. Husbandface has an uber demanding job but, whilst he helps around the home and gets stuck into life with us and we know we are his first priority, the reality is I have more time in my head to get on with doing practical stuff, planning and making sure we don’t crash into the rocks.

(Can you tell I’ve found a new analogy for life? Love this whole sailing the boat thing together I’ve had going around my head in the last few days)

The thing is, life works better when there is intentionality to our living. Things go well when we aren’t just floating with the prevailing wind all the time but are sailing specifically in a certain direction. There are times for just going with the breeze and there are times when we up anchor and sail on. We are priviledged to have rhythms to our lives as we ride the waves of manic term time and relatively calm holiday times (ok even I think I might have overdone the analogy now).

God is a God who makes order out of chaos, one of our jobs on earth involves walking in his footsteps. Part of the good work he has called me to walk in is to help carry on making order from the chaos around. I long that as a family we would walk well in such ways, that we would live to the best of our ability.  I think that involves, every now and again, getting stuck into planning that makes spontaneous joy possible. We plan so we can be free not so we can be restricted. Wrap your head around that for a bit.

I’ve been helped to kickstart this by my excellent sister in law and her plans for January, I love sharing this life with others who are trying out this kind of intentional living thing.

Also I share the caveat that this is all a work in progress, I’m not trying to show off with my amazing plans for life, I will not be pinteresting my pretty cooking results, I will not be perfect. We will get it wrong, I will collapse in a heap many Sunday evenings and just feed us all pizza for dinner one week. Sack all comparisons. This is just me finding a way to cope with a busy life, to order things so we can be hospitable and functional as a family and and not to go insane in it all, these are not my ways to achieve perfection as a mother and wife. Alright?

Posted in Ramblings | 5 Comments

Round up of 2013 in song.

Time for a round up of the year I think. Each year I compile a CD of songs I have loved throughout the year and give it to my brother and friends Anna and Sarah. This year the tracklist was less a reflection of new songs I’d loved and more of an emotional journey through the year. Just to create an epic blog post for you I’ve decided to take you through it. Well, it’s been a couple of weeks since my last…

We start off with the excellent Barenaked Ladies song: ‘Who needs sleep?’. Our theme song for the year as we dealt with the small one’s lack of love of sleep and our frustrations with that. We’ve learnt lots through the sleep deprivation, patience hasn’t been downloaded into our brain but we’ve developed some through this hardcore training ground.

REM’s ‘Everybody Hurts’ touches on the tough points of the year. These occurred mainly in the first quarter of the year as I hit rock bottom in coming to terms with this new life and the need for sleep sent me slightly insane. Crying on the floor with him in the dark gave way to a gradual coming to terms with life as a Mum and enjoyment of our gorgeous son.

U2’s ‘Some Days are Better than Others’ is a beautiful expression of the reality of the ordinary life we live our days through. Some days are indeed better than others. We have had good days and bad this year, we’ve lived in the ups and downs and twisty turns of life. There have been no major crazy times and no major highs, just some good days and some bad.

KT Tunstell’s- ‘Through the Dark’ is another song that sums up pretty perfectly the journey into this world of being a mother with lyrics like. “How do I show all of the love inside my heart? This is all new and I’m feeling my way through the dark”. This song expresses some of the joy and wonder at this new world however much it feels like feeling my way through the dark lots of the time.

‘Anthem’ by Leonard Cohen is there purely for the genius lyric: “Ring the bell, that still can ring, forget your perfect offering. There is a crack, a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” I’ve had to discard lots of my perfectionist tendencies this year and it’s a battle still raging. This reminds me that the cracks matter.

‘The Rising’ (originally by Bruce Springsteen) with Martyn Joseph singing it marks the rise into hope and a sense of ease in this world that I’ve found towards the end of the year. It’s also from my album of the year, songs of Bruce sung by Martyn. Beautiful joy all round.

‘Hold me’, ‘Another Love’ and ‘Grow Old with me’ by Tom Odell are some of the stand out tracks from one of the new albums of the year we managed to get into. We also loved Jake Buggs offering and ‘Taste it’ is a very enjoyable slice from that one.

‘Because We Can’ by Bon Jovi is a strange choice but its a song I fixated on in the early months of sonface’s life, starting the day with a big fat sing a long anthem cheered me up after long nights of feeding and little sleep. It’s impossible not to smile whilst singing along to such cheese.

‘Adventures of Isabel’ by Natalie Merchant is from another gem of an album (husbandface begs to differ but that’s because he’s had enough of pretty folk singing ladies for a lifetime). Lots of beautiful children’s songs from poems throughout the years.

The CD then takes a someone bizarre turn as we head into songs me and the boy have loved together this year.

‘The Grumpy Song’ from the Aardvark music class we went to is possibly the best song of the year. “If you want to be a grump, that’s ok, but could you be a grump a kind of further away? It’s not that I don’t love you cos you know I do, sometimes I’m grumpy too…”  Team Cunningham needs to sing this on a regular basis. The class itself is great- not a Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in sight, just some fun music and lots of instruments to play along with. Of the many baby groups we’ve been to this year this one is amongst the better ones. It’s also very cute watching sonface dance to the music and do the actions to the songs.

‘Praise the Lord’ and ‘God is our Refuge and Strength’ from Seeds Family Worship have kept us all reminded of the one who has held us tight this year, who has developed our patience endurance, who has taught us what sacrifice is all about and who has shown us more of his love through our love for sonface. Colin Buchanan’s ‘Lamentations 3’ song reminds me of what I need to know as I face the day, the mercies are new each morning and His faithfulness is great.

‘Land of Hope and Dreams’ and ‘Happy’ are more from the Martyn sings Bruce songs and Kath is very happy as a result album. More songs of hope to end the year with. ‘I Hope’ by the Dixie Chicks carries on with that theme and we end with the classic cheese anthem by Five: ‘Keep on Movin’.

We come to the end of the year in a much better place than the one we started it in. I am deeply grateful to God for holding us close and for our friends and family who have supported us, stuck by us, given us hugs when needed, provided chocolate each week, taken the boy away when it all got too much, enabled us to look on this land with hope and who have made walking through this world a little bit easier. I’ve made some amazing fellow Mum friends and I’ve loved sharing in the craziness of small people with them. I’ve known the care of longstanding friends and friends from our church. I don’t take these amazing gifts lightly and am deeply grateful for all the grace poured out on us this year by others.

I don’t know what 2014 will hold but I know that the one who made us won’t give up on us and will enable us to live with whatever comes our way. Happy New Year and here’s to more crazy adventures in ordinary living in the year ahead.

Posted in Life on the journey | 1 Comment

Blog review according to wordpress… if you care…

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 11,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 4 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

Posted in Life on the journey | Leave a comment

Christmas in the dark (this time from someone else)

Well this made us cry this evening. Never a bad thing I think.

Posted in Life on the journey | Leave a comment

The one with the Anniversary

When husbandface and I got married we started this tradition of writing epically long cards to each other on special occasions, birthdays and our anniversary (we did do Christmas as well but as it’s 5 days after our anniversary there really wasn’t much more we could say other than, um, read the card I gave you 5 days ago…). Anyway, I also appear to have started a similar tradition of writing a blog post for him on our anniversary. (oh wait, I’ve just checked, I’ve done it for 2 years, we’ve been married for 4 so I think I could get away with not doing this, but also it was 2 years in row which kind of feels like a start to a tradition, oh well here we go…)

us4 years ago we did this:
(got to find a use for these wedding photos eh)

And now we look like this:us2

 

 

We have had a strangely quiet year for us. No major storms to weather, no life changing shifts happening left right and centre and no cataclysmic events to rock our little boat out here on the sea. We sailed on with our newcomer to the team who doesn’t really contribute much to the work involved in keeping afloat and in the right direction. In fact he really adds some difficulty into the whole endeavor, being small, fairly demanding and not terribly self sufficient.

Where was I? Ah yes we’ve made it through another year. It hasn’t been easy (when has it ever?) but we are still out here and, lets face it, still enjoying life together. Despite our life looking very different from the us who started out on this journey I still love waking up with my best friend, I love the body that wraps around me after night feeds and sings me back to sleep. I love the man who patiently loves me and our boy, who forgives me time and time again. I love that he can tickle away my grumps. I love that he makes me laugh more than anyone else. I love this man who is the best Dad I know, who works hard to keep us fed and warm, who loves us well because he knows the one who loves us best. I love that I get to spend my life with my best friend and I love being with him on this adventure called life. I love that we parent as a team and I love his enthusiasm for life and all it holds. He’s not perfect, I’m not perfect, but he’s perfect for me, as this John Cale song kind of says.

And there you go, meet you back here in a years time for more mush and some more tales of how God has held us together as we journey on. Grab that glass and raise it to the lovely Husbandface.

Posted in Ramblings | Leave a comment