Yes, what happened in Bulgaria refused to stay in Bulgaria. And I’m slightly disturbed about these photos I found on Dave Longs website from the said Summer Mission Team. It’s worrying that we look slightly inebriated. But worth it for the one of Bish. He he.
This one should be entitled- what a year with your Staff Worker/Relay Worker can do for you.
My favourite place in the whole of England.
And no. You can’t know where it is. It’s mine. All mine. Ha.
A question posed to me today in a coffee shop by the lovely Debs*. A Question that really is all about the interpretation. Well. Red in my life would be the new things that are happening this term, the friends I’ve made here, the fact I get to play in a Band. Yes a Real Band. (we even have a name- Rooted, available for gigs in your local area whenever needed), the fun I’ve been having recently, and probably the red of the wine I’m enjoying.
Blue is the blue of the sky before the sun rises, the black of night is fading and a deep rich blue takes over the sky. A blue that smells of hope, a blue that offers the coming of the dawn, the blue that anticipates more to come. This blue is the blue that surrounds my thoughts on the rest of the term ahead of me. After a small mini break of embracing the worlds of Cambridge and Guildford I am back in Hove, back with the job ahead of me. Back with the choice to go through the motions or to seek the face of the one who makes sense of this life. Who dwells within the motions I make.
Over to you- If your life were a rainbow, what would be orange and what would be green?
*Debs- Friend from Guildford, companion on the journey and fellow swimmer in the depths of deep thinking.
A week goes past quickly and there is much to think about from the last week of life.
Firstly a quote from Larry Crabb which kind of sums up the response I need to have to the last few days of tunnel life which I found myself in last week. Periodically my brain melts down and leaves me in the darkness. This quote always brings me back to the one who holds my hand through the dark times and is walking through the tunnels with me.
“It is right to think about life, to probe into the complexities of your relationship with yourself and others. But you must conduct these adventures of thought in the same spirit as children explore their grandfathers old, rambling house. Seemingly endless closets and crevices and corners in the attic dare children to leave the well lit living room where grandfather always sits; but that living room is headquarters and the children are careful to keep the way back clearly in mind.
Many Christians today have courageously ventured into the dark regions of the soul but have forgotten the way back to the room where the eternal Father gathers his children onto his lap and reads stories to them by the fireplace.
God knows everything about you. He is thoroughly aware of all the personal struggles that threaten to undo you. He knows your history and your present life, all of it. And all he says to you is, Christ. In previous days, God distributed bits and pieces of information, and he gave it to us in various ways. But now he tells us everything he made known earlier is more fully revealed in Christ. That is his final speech, “Christ!”. There is no more to say.
God wants you to sit by the fire and listen to the Spirit read sixty six books that tell about him. And when you think about a friend struggling, he wants you to leave the living room and go to the attic where that person is telling his story, but to return quickly with your friend so both of you can listen to a far better story.
Most of us are crawling about in a stuffy attic, trying to explain life, demanding to be right, doing our best to relieve pain, and wondering where God is. It is time to find our way back to the living room and into the Fathers arms where we can listen to his Spirit tell the story of Christ.” (L.Crabb- Finding God)
The end of the tunnel came with a perfect 24 hours with a friend. Which leads me to ponder on the greatness of times of just doing things you love.
These are things that I love, and all were done in the space of 24 hrs.
Sunset walks on the beach with a pink and greeny grey sky above.
Good food in a restaurant, after a day of not eating much.
Conversation that swims to the depths and skims the surface of all that goes on in this life.
Pondering the romantic nature of our God and his best kind of intimacy.
Playing beautiful music and having lots of fun playing read music with bongos and guitars.
Drinking wine and eating chocolate.
Buying new shoes.
Lazy mornings.
All these things made me smile. Lots.
And the best thing is all these things come from the one who made us all. Who knew what I needed this weekend, and who knows how to restore my soul. All these times of peace, security, fun and beauty are only possible because of the maker. Who would be enough even without these amazing gifts he gives. It’s the details I love, the putting of people together to support, care for each other and point each other back to Him. The times He takes everything away so we realise He is enough, the moments when some of the Bigger Picture is revealed as we get to see a bit more of the tapestry of this life weaved together.
This does leave me to ponder on whether, sometimes, I love the gifts more than the giver. John Pipers book “A Hunger for God” has found its way into my hands again. He talks about fasting as something to enable us to love the giver more than the gifts, of longing for the Kings coming, of stepping back from the gifts to become aware of the vast all encompassing sufficency of the giver. “God is glorified in us when we aim our behaviour at being most satisfied in him. We may do this by grateful eating or grateful fasting. His gifts leave a hunger for him beyond themselves, and fasting from his gifts puts that hunger to the test.” It is good sometimes to turn from the good gifts and look beyond them to the wonderful giver, to drink deep from His fountain and gain satisfaction from Him. Whatever I do with the gifts, I want to spill over in gratitude to the one who gave them and also sometimes restrain from them to remind myself that the Giver is better, much better for who He is, rather than just for what He provides for me. (although I am clearly loving his provision at the moment!)
I’ll leave you with the scariest quote.. “Fasting poses the question: do we miss him? How hungry are we for him to come again? The almost universal absence of regular fasting for the Lords return is a witness to our satisfaction with the presence of the world and the absence of the Lord.”
The Long Walk Home 