Not everything is Black and White…

Posted on May 22, 2013 by Kath

I’ve been ranting in my head all morning, it’s no good, I’ve got to let this out. I’m tired of not saying what I really think. I’m tired of being fearful that if I say what I really think I’ll lose friendships and people will put me on the list of people not to talk to or read. I’m tired of the thinking that says we all have to agree on everything to be friends. I want to build honest friendships that are based on a real foundation.

I want to believe it’s possible to be friends with people and fundamentally disagree about our perspective on the state of the universe but still remain committed to each other, loving of each other and rejoicing in each other. Friendships form out of commonality, similar circumstances, a basic way of interacting with the world, from being thrown together randomly in a tough situation. They don’t need to be formed and carried on based around always agreeing with each other. Of course there will be times when they work better because people share a very similar way of viewing the world, we love to know we aren’t the only ones. I think what I’m saying is that we don’t have to agree on everything to still be deep loving friends of each other.

I’m thinking most about the crazy Christian world when I write this.  I’m thinking of all the many nuances there are in this beautiful messy world we live in.  Thinking of how many fences we put up based on whether we agree with every point of each others theology and our frowns on those who think differently from us. The Israelites once had a password to distinguish true Israelites from impostors, true people of God from those out to destroy. Jed Bartlett can explain:

I think we’ve gone too far in making too many things into that password. There are too many words and phrases that we identify with to reassure us that those we hang out with are true people of God.  There are too many things we’ve made into black and white issues, to identify ‘real’ Christians, that aren’t black and white at all.

I am tired of saying the right things to the right people to be liked and approved of. I am tired of wanting to be in with everyone and I am tired of the lack of nuance in this world. I am sick to death of people who are hurting and broken and in need of hugs and grace thinking that God is unloving and doesn’t want them in his life because they don’t believe the thing that some other Christians believe. I hate that people are afraid to say what they really think for fear of losing friendships. I am so angry that such a state of affairs could exist.

I think a whole load of things that I am sure not many of you agree with, and I believe a whole load of things that I am sure you do agree with. I hold opinions which would make lots of people think I am ‘sound’ and many that would make such people want to burn me for being a heretic. I hold lots of opinions that would make some think I’m a raging crazy fundamentalist Christian and lots that would make others think I’m a liberal backslider. I’m not sure at all that there is an eternal hell but I’m also sure that those who reject Jesus here don’t get to hang out with him for eternity. I’m all for gay marriage in our world that doesn’t accept Jesus as King but I think that if you walk with Jesus he asks a whole different way of living from us and sex becomes something crazily exclusive to a man and a woman in a life long covenant relationship. I think you’d need to talk to him about that and figure it out for yourself. I think we’re not on this earth to fulfill ourselves or become better human beings but to love and sacrifice and know our Maker more. I believe the Bible is the word of God and we can’t pick and choose which bits we like. I think it should be read in context and understood from the culture of the time. I think women can preach and teach in church and lead them but I also think that wives are called to submit to their husbands. I think Jesus was a crazy feminist and I love him deeply for it. I think we need to listen first. I think Jesus never gave people the full packaged ‘gospel’ talk but he asked questions and left people thinking. I wish we were more like that.

Most of all I believe that all these things can’t be wrapped up neatly in a nice blog post.

The above list is ridiculous. The above list is subject to change. I might think differently on most of the above issues tomorrow. I can’t write a list of what I think about all these issues because they can’t be neatly packaged up like that.  There are nuances and many sides of the arguments that I want to see and appreciate.

I want to live with the grey, the nuance, but I also believe in some certainties. Not everything is up for grabs. There is a story of a cup, a hill, a cross and a grave that echoes through the centuries and will not die. There is a maker of this beautiful messed up world. He is the author of the never giving up love at the heart of this world. He declares we are dearly loved and then asks us to love each other with that same love. There is a home at the end of the journey and there is one who calls us to walk with him, doing things his way and discovering that was how things were meant to be after all.

I’m pretty sure this body of Christ thing is built around the small number of certainties that centre on this man called Jesus, not on whether we have the correct doctrinal shibboleths in place. I’m more than sure that loving each other, welcoming the broken, loving those who are hurting, accepting each other in our messy opinions about life is more important than working out whether we are ‘sound’ or believe all the right things.

This song from Martyn Joseph say’s it better than I could…

We’re a stupid man, a dreamer
Got fire in a soul
A fighting, writing, wronging
A broken God shaped hole
Stand with you in the desert
Walk with you on the path
And the truth is I’m not joking
And I hope that you wont laugh

This is us, we, you and me together we are home..

Bring on all the doubter’s
And those who know too much
To gather in the darkness
And find a common touch
Got no doubt we need justice
Got no doubt we need some faith
Got no doubt that loves a mystery
I’m holding on to the tails of her grace

This is us, we, you and me together we are home..

I walked upon a treasured land
We all stood on her stage
We all sound checked together
A laughing holy rage
Some sang into each others eyes
Some sang into the ground
We were lost there when we started
But now we can be found
This is us, we, you and me together we are home

Your correspondent, pretty sure she’s going to get some flack for this from all sides, and burning any chances of book deals with some publishers I presume… Ah well.

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Weary…

Posted on May 18, 2013 by Kath


All this week I’ve been feeling weak and weary, weary of trying to get the boy to eat things, weary of his limpet like qualities, weary of no sleep, weary of endless piles of washing, weary of my lack of patience, weary of an aching body, weary of the anger that rises so quickly, weary of being out of control, weary of lack of predictability in our days. You get the picture, I’ve been feeling weary.

In amongst this weariness I’ve also had Isaiah 40 going around my head. It’s tempting, if you been a Christian a while, to skip through this passage with overfamiliarity, it’s so obvious, people read it all the time, it appears on greetings cards and, like the band that everyone likes, it seems a little too popular to be any good. I know, a ridiculous way to approach bits of the Bible. Nevertheless I fall into the over-familiar trap all too often. There is, after all, a reason everyone loves Isaiah 40, it paints an incredible picture of our God in all his hugeness and all his tenderness.

Verses I can’t escape turn around in my mind and bring perspective to this weary place I seem to be in. This is what God is like:

“He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.”

He’s a shepherd, he looks after his people, he gathers them in his arms, he carries them close to his heart and he gently leads those that have young. Through my sleep deprived days it is good to know that as I fumble through the days, as my body creaks and groans, as my arms ache that I have one who is gently leading me. There is hope in the midst of these days, I have a God who is gentle with me. Through my frustrated tears I once more say sorry for my lack of gentleness, for my frustration and rage and rest in the arms of the one who carries me and my boy close to his heart.

“Why do you complain, Jacob?
Why do you say, Israel,
“My way is hidden from the Lord;
my cause is disregarded by my God”?
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.”

It is always good to know that God doesn’t grow tired and weary. Our lives are so full of events that make us weary. Unanswered prayers, situations that feel like they will never change, the frustrations of being misunderstood, the fear of being alone, the worry about what the future will bring. Through all of our weary days God is the one who doesn’t grow tired or weary and who hasn’t forgotten us. Our cause is not hidden from him. Whatever we are going through he knows about it. He doesn’t forget his people, although we are as small as grasshoppers. He is a God we can hope in.

And so I rest my weary soul in Him. I seek after his forgiveness and take refuge in his gentle arms of love which surround me. Gradually he breaks down my spiky, frustrated, angry craziness. Slowly I begin to remember that I am loved. Slowly I begin to hope for light in this darkness. My hard crusty heart softens in the warmth of the everlasting.

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Tuesday

Posted on May 7, 2013 by Kath

Every Tuesday morning I head to the appropriately named ‘Tuesday Group’ at a local church.  Aside from being brilliant because there is a creche I can leave the boy in for an hour or so it’s also great to chat to a whole bunch of women at different stages in life. It’s one spot in the week where I can have some uninterrupted conversation.

This week we shared stories together of the difference Jesus makes to our identity. I read some posts from here, ones grappling with the changing in identity being a mother has brought.

Because I need to write
A new metaphor for life right now
Realising the obvious
On vulnerability 

I think it was the first time I’ve done any kind of public speaking since having our boy and it felt good to be back, good to tell of God’s work, good to be honest and vulnerable, good to publicly own this new world I find myself in.

I also loved hearing other stories of God’s work in the lives of the women there, tales of battles fought to love God more than his gifts, tales of the struggle not to return to the past, tales of a God who never leaves our side and tales of a God who actively pursues us and brings us into his family.

Read Heloise’s story from this morning here. 

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A new way of looking at obedience…

Posted on April 26, 2013 by Kath

obey2My problem with obedience comes from the fact that I think I know best,  I want to be in charge. I think that obeying someone else will only lead to misery and denial of the essence of my soul. It seems like a restriction of freedom and, lets face it, we all deserve to be free.

What if obedience to God isn’t a denial of our freedom but the way to freedom? What if obedience to God’s will and way is actually the way to live as we were designed to live? What if doing things God’s way was the way to a full and wonderful life, rather than a dull and restrictive life. I know that’s not new thinking but I’ve totally and utterly forgotten it. I’ve gone back to thinking obedience means a dark dreary colourless existence, one where I am sad all the time because I’m so restricted.

Hang on. There is a whole flipping long Psalm written about how good God’s commands are, how they are like sweet honey, how they are light to our path, how they teach us how to live, how they are our blueprint, the way to access what it really means to be human, what it really means to be alive. The word ‘command’ has become so tainted in our culture that we’ve lost the wonder, the colour, the beauty of the life God has commanded us to live.

We act as if God has commanded us to eat gruel, sit in a corner and shut up, be seen and not heard, be good, be polite, be boring and be bored. Stop it, don’t do that, don’t touch that, don’t taste that. God is a killjoy to our plans. Oh we have believed the lie of the serpent for far too long now.

All this seems so obvious now I write it down. Too obvious to put into words. But I need to. I need to kill this lie. I need to write down the obvious because when I take it for granted I forget it and go back to believing rubbish lies.

God is not calling us to a rubbish life. He really isn’t. He made us. He knows us. He knows the best way for us to live. He wants us to take hold of the life that is truly life. The end of 1 Timothy is a perfect example of this:

 17 Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.18 Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. 19 In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

Note these are commands, and then note what is commanded: Not to be arrogant, but to put our hope in God who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Taste that on your tongue for a moment. We have a God who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. What a crazy wonderful God. Timothy goes on to tell rich people to do good, to be generous and willing to share and by doing so take hold of the life that is truly life.

This is a GOOD way to live. Following God’s commands is a GOOD thing because he has provided us with everything for our enjoyment. Following his commands involves life, colour, joy, goodness, wonder, generosity, sharing.

There is a cost: these still involve giving up my wants, my rights, but it’s like stopping holding a pathetic little Mr Whippy ice cream to swim in a vat of Ben and Jerry’s. It’s like giving up a day in the sun for a month by the beach in the bahamas. It’s like giving up a small piece of everyday value chocolate for a years supply of lindt.

For too long we’ve believed our way is best. It’s really not. Lets embrace, dance and rejoice because we have a God who really does know better than us what is good for us and wants us to live that life. Who wants us to die to our ways so we may discover a much much better way.

I’ve also remembered in this last week that we aren’t just told to be obedient and then left to get on with it. God wants to equip us for doing his will, it is he that works in us what is pleasing in his sight. He is the one who gives us the desire and strength to obey, to go his way instead of ours.  So I pray that he would do that in my heart. I pray he would help my son love his ways, I long to be helpful to my son as we ask for obedience from him. I love that God doesn’t just give us random commands but a whole colourful life that he helps us live. I want our parenting to reflect that crazy grace in action.

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More on that tricksty word…

Posted on April 24, 2013 by Kath
IMG_1223

We know Kath’s the real Boss…

OK, so lets leave the parenting thoughts to one side. I’m convinced that helping your child obey is part of parenting, but to be done always in an age appropriate way, according to their understanding, in the most appropriate loving way, in a context of grace and unconditional love, without the expectation that they’ll get it right straight away or all the time and with space for forgiveness and apologising from all sides. It goes hand in hand with not frustrating our children, understanding their world is crazy and difficult lots of the time and helping them not feel out of control, isolated or helpless in the midst of these turbulent years.

There’s a lot of nuances to be worked out there from family to family but I hope to try, and fail and get up and try again to love our boy well, to not frustrate him, to give him a safe grace filled world to breath, in the midst of also teaching him about obedience.

So. Lets get back to that word ‘obey’. I’d like to scrap it altogether but I can’t wipe out huge parts of my Bible. However much I’d like to make my Bible say what I want it to say I can’t. I can’t escape the reality that it talks about obedience as part of our lives as God’s children. Part of our lives. It isn’t the whole picture. It’s in the context of the big picture. That massive picture is that we are all dearly loved children of God, dearly loved, not put up with, not annoyed with, not wishing he could have a break from us, not sighing because he has to spend another moment with us. His parenting of us is not like our human parenting. He dearly loves us with a never failing, never stopping, never giving up love (thanks Jesus Storybook Bible for that phrase).  But he still calls us to obedience.

The Old Testament is full of the call to obey God’s ways. The 10 commandments seem like a fairly obvious example of that. Isreal as a nation is called to stop following it’s own ways or the ways of the other gods around them and to be different. To walk in God’s ways, to obey him.  1 Peter says this:

1 Peter 1:13-16: Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: ‘Be holy, because I am holy.’

To be honest I prefer the phrase, ‘walk in God’s ways’ to ‘obey the Lord your God’ because it sounds nicer. It sounds less like I’m being forced into something and more about a choice. When it comes down to it though both phrases are about going God’s way in this life rather than mine. That’s where my problem lies. I want to obey when it fits with my plans and my ways.  I want to walk God’s path when it suits me, not when it doesn’t. I’m like that with human authority. I am happy to follow a boss when I agree with them but try every way to get around it when I don’t agree with them. Or  I assent on the surface but quietly ignore them so they think I’m compliant but my whole attitude and being say the opposite.

I have a mug to prove this. A mug given to me by my old work place as a leaving present. It says, ‘we know Kath’s the real boss’. It’s a mug that perfectly encapsulates my problem. I think I know best all of the time. When I agree with God’s commands I’m up for following them. When I don’t though I just politely ignore them.

Obedience is hard. I don’t like it and I don’t want to do it. To get around it I pretend I don’t know what God’s commands are, I pretend I don’t know how he wants me to live. I pretend I haven’t read the fruit of the Spirit or the call to be Holy or the call to love my neighbour as myself.

I’m looking for a way to try and love obedience. Is there anything that helps? Is there anything that helps you love obedience?

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