“Your child is now half of their way through their reception year”
It’s the beginning of our first half term holiday without the husbandface in his sprint collapse rhythm.
It feels surprisingly ok.
We’ve had a good week around these parts.
The sunny sunshine has been good for my head. The metaphor explosion epiphany moments during my latest counselling session suggested that there was some good deep work going on. A white dog appeared to outshine the black dog and introduce gentle kind thoughts into my self critical inner world. It felt like an intensely spiritual moment in a room where we don’t really talk about God much. I smiled like a loon for the rest of the day.
Later in the week I hit a strange wall of tiredness. I have a theory that the more I believe that the husbandface is healing and recovering, the more my body lets it’s guard down. I’m slowly slowly trying to ease my grip off pretending that I can control my world and make everyone in it safe. I’m starting to try and trust that this moment is really all we have to live in, enjoy, delight in and know God in. The future is unknown and that is. Wait for it. O.K. (sometimes. maybe. please God). Maybe working that out in counselling this week enabled my tired body to stop a while. Thursday and Friday afternoons found me asleep in front of Friends reruns on the sofa. It’s taken a while to realise that this is what I need in my hours away from the small ones.
I tried to run on Friday morning and had to stop. I physically couldn’t do it anymore. It might be time to start listening to my body and rest more.
On Tuesday afternoon my eldest weirdo sang sea shanties dressed in a pirate hat with the rest of his class to celebrate the finish of their pirate themed half term. I was super proud and loved getting to see his special book afterwards full of pictures and comments on stuff he’d done over the last few weeks.
I’m not sure what I think about the rather bizarre celebration of pirates that small people seem to be obsessed with. I kind of like the fun of it and have to remember that it really has nothing to do with actual pirates who were kind of horrific if you think about it for any length of time. Ah well. The boys are also obsessed with Swashbuckle on CBeebies right now. The only song I ever have going around my head at the moment is, ‘hey ho, swashbucklers go, take on the pirates, yo ho ho…’ (at least in this narrative the pirates get caught and made to walk the plank for their transgressions…). Secretly I love it.
I’ve been reading Douglas Coupland lots over the last few days. He really is a kind of weird prophetic voice reflecting on the transitions in technology over the last 4 decades. I’m reading Bit Rot and having my brain exploded all over again. Hoorah for his voice. I found a rather pretentious note on my iPhone the other day simply saying, “Why does no-one listen to Douglas Coupland anymore?”. We should. He has SO many interesting things to say about our world.
Talking of interesting things about our world. We watched in awe as Elon Musk’s amazing rocket went into space this week. We had genuine goosebumps watching two of the rockets come back to Earth and do exceptionally controlled landings. We are living in the future. It’s so odd. But wonderful. All at once. (Having read an article about Elon Musk’s personal life I feel less inclined towards him as a person but am in awe of the stuff he has managed to achieve so far, and that the dream of life on Mars may become a reality in my lifetime…)
In other wondrous news we are reading Swallows and Amazons to Son1. I can’t really get my head around this being the first time for husbandface as well but I am loving revisiting it. I’d forgotten it was my go to soothing book when I was growing up. If I couldn’t sleep or had a nightmare I would re-read this over and over again. I’ve read it countless times but haven’t touched it for about 20 years. It’s such an antidote to all the usual fast paced stuff thrown at us each day, nothing happens, everything is described in exquisite detail, including what the children ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It’s beautifully dull in places and then thrilling in others. I am fairly impressed the boy has stuck with it and can’t wait to show him Lake Coniston in the summer.
We are looking forward to the week ahead, we started today with a slow morning of museums and then some rest time this afternoon. Lovely friends are then coming to stay for a few days tomorrow. I will try and keep one day in the middle for a very very slow day before the half term madness of our NCT group going to the theatre and Pizza Express at the end of the week.
I’m looking forward to hanging out with the small ones, they seem to like each other at the moment. Son1 is reading or trying to read everything in sight and we feel in a definite new stage of life, well apart from son2’s rather trying 3 year old moments. It’s hard being 3. Really. Anyways, a week out of normal routine looks pretty good right now. I’ll see you at the end of the week to see how things panned out…
How’s your week been?