As I look back I can see the stuff that really really helps in this mental world right now. I have realised there are several immovable things in my week which make this land possible.
I have to run.
I have to talk to God in some form or other.
I have to read.
These three things give me much needed alone time. And thus I have:
Time to reflect.
Time to get endorphins flowing around my body.
Time to be restored by eternal perspective and love. (Psalm 19 reminded me this week that God’s way of doing things brings refreshment to the soul. Refreshment to the soul. Sounds good eh.)
Time to be in worlds that are not my own (reading is particularly helpful for that both fictional and non fictional.).
In this world of intense non stop small boy interaction the space these three things provides is wonderful. Without these I think I would be in a much more exhausted state.
Other things of note:
Once more the lovely Jo took the boys for a bit on Thursday morning enabling me to take the husbandface for a rare trip out of the house and into the sunshine. It was a strange kind of date, a 10 min walk followed by take out cake and coffee drunk in separate rooms. But it was a moment of connection nonetheless.
Money from my mother in laws estate has provided us with a workshop for husbandface to get creative in and have a space to hang out that’s not our bedroom. It arrived yesterday. It’s a beast. But I think we’ll get used to it slightly destroying the view from our dining table…
Today an old friend from years back is coming to play. We are off to see the excellent Martyn Joseph tonight and I can’t wait for an evening out and to have the deepest parts of my soul soothed, which he always seems to be able to do. I haven’t seen him live since son1 was 4 weeks old and I pretty much sobbed through every comforting familiar song helping me make sense of the confusing world I found myself in. Tonight may have a similar effect. We will wait and see.
Having friends come play also helps weekends feel like weekends, which is really important right now. Weekends are the hardest as it’s then that it’s most obvious how little husbandface can manage and I feel the most odd with no routine to cling to. It will be good to do Saturday things and enjoy the break from routine rather than fear it.
And there we are.
As you were.