Recently something strange has happened, I’ve felt a discernible shift in temperament, a change in the clouds above, a glimpse of sunlight pouring through the trees and a stirring of hope. The summer holidays were brilliant for rest and restoration of my body and, as these things so often follow each other, my soul. More sleep, less aching led to space in my head and a strange kind of feeling of normality. Extreme exhaustion seems to be on the way out for now.
My metaphor for living (clearly something that everyone needs, if you don’t have a metaphor for life how can you really know or explain anything?) has turned from a forest glade (see here) into something more. No longer caught in one place, surrounded by trees, I find myself beginning to explore this new world that I’ve found myself in. I still can’t see any massive views or mountain tops but here the sunlight is streaming through the gaps in the trees. There are paths to meander down and explore, woodland streams to gaze at and deep clear pools to paddle and swim in.
This new world is now one of movement and exploration, the horizon remains pretty limited still but the paths are being explored, new territory is opening up and I can see that life here is good for living.
My mind is opening up, I can sit and listen to people now, I can converse and I can rejoice. This morning I sat with some other lovely ladies at the aptly named ‘Tuesday Group’ I go to on a Tuesday morning. Sonface was playing happily in the creche and I sat with new and old friends and listened to someone’s story. She told her tale of art and maths and how God has weaved her story through the pieces of work she showed us. I was reminded again of the value of lives, of how God takes each one of us and weaves our story into his. I delighted again in the many various ways he is reflected in how we live out our tales in this world. In short I felt human again, like me again.
Next week I start a course in Spiritual Direction with our local diocese, for one day a month I shall sit with others and contemplate what it means to listen to people on their journey with God and hopefully see more of his work in others lives and my own. I hopefully with have my brain blown again with his work throughout history and in so many various ways with so many different types of people.
For weeks I’ve been almost in denial that this course will happen, wondering where on earth I would find the energy to even get there, let alone be able to participate in what is going on. Now I can imagine being there, thinking thoughts, listening to the One who made us and has a big beautiful world for us to participate in.
Thankfully it seems like once again the Spirit has been on the move, that God knows better and is at work preparing me for what will come in the months ahead. It’s good to be out of the glade and walking through life again.