That’s how the light gets in…

lightTrudging along the road tired and weary, my mind swirling with the usual thoughts of despair and darkness. The train of grumbling narrative chugged along it’s usual tracks. The same cycle: Where is God? Does he even exist? I can’t feel him. I’m not following him right. I’m not doing enough. I’m not, I’m not, I’m not.

Then a light airy thought floated past like a white feather swirling down a darkened sky.

Maybe Kath I’m here and I love you. Maybe I’m delighted in you because you are mine. Maybe you could start with that thought each day rather than this rather depressing swirl of lies and rubbish. Maybe you could give me the benefit of the doubt eh? I did make you after all, I did pick you out from the dark pit, made you clean, declared you beautiful and danced with you. You don’t have to wade through the murky mire each morning to work yourself into feeling my love. You wake into a world of love, where I smile because you are in this world. How’s about we start with that each day and worry about rating your performance at being a Christian some other day eh?

I turn this thought over and over, watching it sparkle and shine out in the sun. Today at least I’ll live in it’s light.

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4 Responses to That’s how the light gets in…

  1. Tanya Marlow says:

    Why did this make me cry?

    Welcome back, girl.

  2. Becci Brown says:

    I find your blog posts so helpful. I think mostly becuase they resonate with so much of how I am feeling…like the previous post, motherhood, wifehood (obvs, me being about to become the latter). Like I say, I totally resonate and it’s super helpful to see thoughts I’m havind discussed and worked through in Jesus-centered way. So thanks, thanks for lifting me eyes today (that and the sicko dolls post of OddBabble!) X

  3. emmascriv says:

    Beautiful – and just what I need Thanks x

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