Somewhere along the line I’ve embraced the notion that a thing/talent/idea is only worth something if lots of people see it or appreciate it. I seem not to be content with affecting my immediate circle of friends and family and yet it is these people I laugh with, cry with, eat with and more. I wonder where this has come from?
Is it a result of the craving for fame? Our celebrity culture? A 6 year old child declared to me that he was famous the other day, I asked – what for? Famous for what? – his response was – for being famous. The weird loop our culture has got into has affected my thinking as well. Is this what paralyses me? Is this what stops me writing, composing poetry or drawing? If only my immediate circle read or are encouraged by these things surely that is value enough?
When did I buy into the idea that big equals success, that the amount of consumers of the creativity I produce mark it’s value? Even the language of that last sentence makes me shudder. Consumers of creativity? Is that really where we have got to?
I stop creating when I focus on the size of the audience. I become paralysed by thoughts of quality and how many people will think it’s amazing. I’m not an amazing talent, I may not write a best seller. But I am a creative creature and I can express some of my maker through that to the people around me.
That’s a thought that sets me free to enrich the lives of those around me rather than worry/demand/obsess over whether I’m being heard on a wider level. Creative expressions of life don’t have to be dramatic in scale, just full of impact in the lives of the people we see, eat, laugh with and enjoy each day.