“But alas! These my golden expectations have been like the south sea dreams. I have lived hither to a poor sinner, and I believe I shall die one. Have I then gained nothing? Yes I have gained that which I once would rather have been without – such accumulated proof of the deceitfulness and desperate wickedness of my heart as I hope by the Lord’s blessing has, in some measure, taught me to know what I mean when I say, ‘behold I am vile!’ I was ashamed of myself then, I am ashamed of myself now and I expect to most ashamed of myself when he comes to receive me to himself. But oh! I rejoice in HIM that HE is not ashamed of me!”
John Newton