It seems Sunday will be crying day from now on. This week I alarmed the preacher at our church by pretty much crying through most of his sermon. Well, he shouldn’t have been saying things like: “Immanuel, means God is with us. He is with us” over and over again. Or “God is really for us, he really is right with us”. The repetition is what my thick skull needs right now. Christmas, more than any other time of the year reminds me so much of the reality that God came down to earth. The Maker mixed it up with His creation.
As much as I hate to admit it, I’ve just come out of seven years in a Christian Bubble. No longer am I surrounded by people who live with the knowledge that there is a God, that he really loves us and did everything to get back into relationship with us. It’s a good thing that I’m having to figure out and wonder if I believe because everyone else around me does. My personality is such that I easily go along with the general mood of the room I’m in at the time. Not such a good tactic when it comes to the fundamental realities of life. It’s hard to keep on believing when all around don’t. Just as it would be hard to not believe in a room full of people who all believe the same things as I do. I struggle with doubt and unbelief. But I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t.
As ever the only thing that really helps is another dose of reminder of what God is really like. That He is good, and that for some reason best known to Him, he really loves me. He really has taken my accusers away and He stepped into the mess of this world. The Word became Flesh. That’s what makes me cry on this dark winters day. Light stepped in and the darkness did not understand/overcome/consume it.