Screwtape’s advice for life and events week.

Here some advice I’m giving at an evangelism training day tomorrow.

Don’t pray.
Don’t talk about Jesus.
Don’t love people, have chats with them purely to win arguments and not cos you care for them.
Don’t enjoy it, it’s rubbish news.
Don’t live it out, get drunk down the bar each night so that people can see it doesn’t really make any difference to your life.
Give up
Hide away for the next two weeks
Feel guilty and rubbish, God doesn’t really love you and thinks you are a rubbish person, why would he want to use you anyway?
Think that it all depends on you.
Get fed up when everyone you talk to doesn’t get converted the second you start talking about Jesus.
Don’t listen to people, answer the questions you can answer, loudly, force your opinions on them.
Don’t bother inviting your mates to anything, they think you are weird as it is.
Don’t bother making friends with people you meet this week. They’re all a bit odd anyway.
Do things on your own, be a lone ranger, don’t encourage anyone, what use will that be?
Complain A LOT. About everything. Moan moan moan about the CU, about the committee, about how rubbish life is.
Complain some more, especially behind peoples backs.
Did I mention?, don’t pray, it doesn’t work anyway.
God doesn’t really want people to come to know him does he?
Be confident in yourself, you are great aren’t you? And certainly not weak and foolish, of course you can convert the world.
Think the message is stupid. Tell people something they want to hear. Tell them becoming a Christian will make them happy, healthy and rich.
Of course it’s not true for everyone, as long as people are happy, that’s what counts.
Stop praying, I thought I told you before. A waste of time in this random fate driven world.

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2 Responses to Screwtape’s advice for life and events week.

  1. Sarah Brown says:

    I was reading screwtape the other day, very very good. Unforuntaly very very true

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