Diary round up.

So, it’s been a while. Things that have taken my fingers away from this keyboard include getting on with enjoying my job, helping friends move house, watching many episodes of House, going on my last CU weekend aways and the usual eating sleeping and wondering that make up this life.

The latest thing to be exploding my brain is this series of lectures by the wonderful Andrew Fellows from L’abri.
Go here if you dare:
Narcissism – The Worldview of Self Part 1
Narcissism – The Worldview of Self Part 2
Narcissism – The Worldview of Self Part 3
Narcissism – The Worldview of Self Part 4

I add the warning because these are fairly depressing lectures to listen to. They rip away the charade of much of our lives and expose the darkness of our hearts which are lost in the obsession with self, ghosts searching for something that is real. That’s why we love anything physical, why we are so addicted to things, why we love consuming and a whole host of other things that make up our lives. We are on the search for some reality, and we think that comes from anything we can experience ourselves. Reality has become all about what I can touch, taste, feel and sense, dependent on the self to experience it. We’ve lost the sense of other. We are trapped in our endless spirals of self analysis and I haven’t listened to the last lecture yet to see if there is any hope to this situation. And if none of that made any sense, grab a coffee and listen to the lectures. These things matter.

House is our latest TV addiction. I’d love to wiffle away for hours about how brilliantly dark the character of House is. But really. The time is short. So many questions about ethics, what we mean, whether everybody really does lie, why we do the things we do and much more. Watch and think.

Subversion is my word of the week. Watching students this week being encouraged to be subversive made me grin. We have to be asking the questions to all around us. Who are we? Where do we come from? Why does music make us feel good? What is life really all about? What makes up identity? Why does the sunset make me want to cry? Where are we going? Does it matter? What is love? Why do we love? Is there really unconditional love? What do we wish for? Will it happen? So much to think about.

1 Peter also makes me think. Apparently we are aliens and strangers here. Called out. To be different. To reflect our Maker. To be truly subversive in the way we live our lives. In the way we love, show compassion and display true beauty. Spine tingling calls to be truly different and radical in this messed up world.

As ever I attempt to jump the wide divide between all I think and all I do in my walking around doing things with people life. That’s the biggest conundrum. Do we walk the path of our beliefs and ideas, or do we settle for the path of least resistance? One day we won’t even have to try. That’s a pretty good thought.

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