So, in the aftermath of emotional whirlwinds I’ve been doing some more pondering. Pondering on what we expect from this life. The problem with this walking with God thing is that God isn’t a magic genie who will grant my every wish. That just doesn’t seem to be how He works at all. He seems to be a God who is more interested in who we are than what we do or achieve. A God who is concerned that we remember who He is, and then live in the light of that. A God who wants us to know that He really is in control, even when we have no idea how that is working out.
We aren’t promised an easy life, a life how we want it, a God who will sort the universe out so we can be happy. The call for us, is always: will we follow God even when life is not working out how we want it to? Will my life be about seeking after friendships and relationship that will make me feel secure and reassured that I’m ok? Will my life be about scowling when things are not going the way I want? Or can I turn and trust in a God who knows me, made me, has good things for me, will work for good in every situation I am in? Will I trust in the one who has promised to bring me home, who calls me to love the people around me, to make the most of my days, to remember that He is God and there is no other? The answer is I don’t know. I want to trust. I want to trust when it seems like the hardest thing to do. I want to know his work on my hard cold heart. I want to accept the days of darkness whilst holding tight to the One who will bring the light. I want to obey through it all.
Once again Mr Lewis has summed things up better than I could.
“Our cause is never in more danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending to do our enemy’s will looks around at the universe from which every trace of him has vanished and asks why he has been forsaken and yet still obeys…”
C.S.Lewis- Screwtape Letters
I have to ask myself, am I in this life thinking that God will sort everything out nicely for me? Or am I in it because I am his child, because he is the Way, Truth and Life? The crunch in those questions comes when I am not getting what I want. I can throw a tantrum or trust that my Dad knows best. I’m off to watch the sunset on the beach to work that out.